The Worst Year of My Life

2019 has been the worst year of my life. And, I do not say that lightly.

Life has not been easy for me, EVER. So, saying this year has been the worst is really saying something important.

In January, all my hopes and dreams were shattered. And, it hasn’t gotten any easier since then. I keep hoping, but life seems to like punching me in the gut. A LOT.

But, in the midst of all the pain that has been 2019, good has happened too.

For every slice of the knife, every smack on the head, every fall off the ledge, something good has come of it.

In this worst year of my life, opportunities for greatness have been revealed. And, my life has begun to take on a meaning I never imagined was possible.

I often feel resentful that the joy has to come after the devastation and destruction that pain brings. But, maybe those things are needed to appreciate what blessings really look like.

This week, my therapist shared with me that the Lord brought me to her mind during church this past weekend, when the pastor was talking about Joseph Old Testament, Genesis Joseph, Robe of Many Colors Joseph). 

Joseph did not live an easy life. He was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, accused of attempted rape, and left in a dungeon for a long period of time. 

But, Joseph was also placed over all of Egypt, second only to the Pharaoh. He saved his family  from starvation, and created a legacy for his family.

I must admit. The story resonated with me. I know I’ve been placed on this earth for something greater than my own needs and wants.

But, I often wish it didn’t take so much trauma and pain to live out that purpose. I can imagine Joseph felt the same.

I can assure you though, even in the midst of the worst year of my life, I can see the hand of God working, just as Joseph did.

The molding and shaping of my life hurts like HELL. And, I still wish it could be easier. Ask my therapist, she will tell you.

But, if what God has in store for me is as amazing as what He had in store for Joseph, then I can imagine it will be worth it in the end.

In the meantime, some rest would be nice. A nap wouldn’t hurt either. So, if you have time to put in a word for me, tell Him I could use a small break for a bit. And, then, I will try to be ready for the next traumatic chapter of the book.

Here’s to writing our amazing stories, one brilliant chapter at a time. We may never know the true impact of them, just as Joseph didn’t. We just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, until the breakthrough comes and even when the next crappy situation presents itself.

Keep your head up. If I can do it, I promise you can do it too. We can do it together.

Be Amazing, Be Brilliant,

Heidi

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